illusions....
seing things....
halucinations....

peacock feathers.....

yeah,
it happens when u see what is not ther...
u see what is impossible....
figments of imagination....
or probably what is really ther.....deep in ur mind...deep in ur thots....what u feel ...what u seek...what u yearn for...

ther r som memories that linger... ther r lilts of melodies that stay...
shaping into fonder ones with each moment that goes.

my cousin panki:)

ther is a time when u r lil and u die to grow up and do all those oh-so exciting things and take charge of all those "responsibilities"....and then u realise u spoke too soon...coz b4 u know u r a grown up...and at that time even if u think u are not grown up yet...they will surely convince u...and u will b fightin with urself half u insistin that u r still small...half u sayin naaah i am big enuff....

i have fond memories of the ol yrs...
when they spoil u for reasons that u donno....when they scream at u for reasons that u cannot fathom...when u have to look rite up to them coz u r shooo shoo small..and they all are soo soo tall....and the playful times when u run about and scamper about and laff out carefreely with them and they take care of u...and u know they'l b ther....

and i am lucky...coz i relived them jus 3 months bac:)when i went to visit my dear cousin...
this blog specially for him...coz its not his bday:))

love u.

" so whenever u feel a lil crazy...or may b too many things on ur mind....
jus clear a lil space for ur dreamz my frd....leave ur trubles behind...."

u ner know what u'l bump into....or what will bump into u....

i went this mornin to school thinkin yeah small day...easy day...nice weekend...dropped by at advisors place to say hello and when i walked out of his office i had a mind full of thots runnin helter skelter ..... hmmm welll.......so i went thru the nxt few hrs thinkin how its all gonna go till i met my project patner who said we cant really do much and we'l jus have to wait........so ther we go...mind drained out of every wild thot that had come earliar into my head....and then i bumped into a frd who thot of showing me some new tricks in excel.....and while i was seing him work at it...i was starred at the screen in amazement....coz no thot even remotely close to what i was seing had ever come to my mind ever b4...
and then we spoke of some more things and i realised i need to brush up on this and that and bit of here and bit oof ther and blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
so jus when i was settlin dn to the idea of a humdrum weekend...again there came a storm of thots .......

somtimes i feel these thots have no work to do ....and no aims....kabhi bhi kahi bhi chale jate hai...kabhi aate hai kabhi jate hai...nuts!!!!!!!

if only i cud know whats gonna bump into me...if only i knew what i am gonna bump into....if only.....................................

guess it wud not b that intriguing.....
what is it about this uncertainity that appeals to me so much...and that i detest soo much...how wud i ever define this ambivalance!!!!!!!!!!

i've been home for longer in the past few days than one wud usually find me.
so when asked if i answered" went home early"....those who know me laff at me....hehhehehe....i know its jus so not me "being at home"....even i wud laff at myself if i'd b sittin at home doin nuthin...

gypsy.....
i love to think of myself as that...

here today there tomorrow somwhere else some other day....
movement in life.
change.
adjustment.
new.

yeah then there r issues of stability and steady life and setttlin dn and all that age ol' talk.
but doesnt a caravan sound so much more exciting:)

and then there is "belonging...."

damned...more to rite and bus to catch....:(
in the mornings i either have breakfast or catch bus...
in the evenings i either rite or catch bus.
hmmm....filhaal toh the bus replaces the caravan....

Its about the mind
Can one person ever ever know what is there and what is going on the other persons mind...
Trust...its such a thin...fragile line
They say eyes reflect the mind, I don't think so
I pretend that I am the master at predicting what's going on in the other persons mind but I lie each time I say that coz each time i say that I know I cud b wrong each time i say that I know I am taking another being for granted
No 2 persons r alike and so its beyond understanding another mind
Time and again I fail to understand y my mind takes twists and turns and I fail to know what will leave an impact on the unstable thing. How then can I b sure of what happens in another's mind?

hmmm....long time...

uncertainity
determination

faith
trust

hmm...
winters are meltin into watery walkways...ppl are out on the streets again....white washed snows are giving way to green washed lawns....the sleepy greens finally being awaken by the warm sunshines.
though its still cloudy once in a while...but thats ok...

hmmm.....so those light fragile delicate little feathery snow flakes will be away for a while...so those twinkly diamond sparks that appeared everywhere when the sun pierced thru will not be around for a while...

moments slip by with every breath... days turn into nites with the blink of an eye....or so it feels these days....
time seems to be in a hurry.

distances are relative...negligible at times....endlessly vast at other times....
peculiar traits...wanting what is not there....not caring about what is there....

thoughts...imagination...boundaries......surpassed. :)